corona diary | 24 May 2020

I said I wouldn’t but now I did and I’m not ashamed. Call it a Covid-effect, call it inconsistent, I don’t care because we’ve got a Google Home assistant now and it’s the most indoorsy fun we’ve had since exhausting Netflix, board games, books and conversations. I bought it as an early father’s day gift because I know the father in this house loves exploring all things technological. I bought it SPECIFICALLY as a father’s day gift because I knew it meant the father in this house would install everything and I wouldn’t need to bother with instructions. And I know, I KNOW that might be smart but not nice, and I also know that buying a gift that everyone in the house will use isn’t exactly personal but who cares, it’s the best fun we’ve had since we sucked the life out of Netflix; and underpants and socks could have never done the same.   

I can’t say why exactly I decided to buy it, or when, just that I did. Maybe it’s because I feel connected to Google. I’m not trying to be funny here (I am, though). But seriously, I can relate. I use the phrase “ask Google” by way of verbal eye roll at the kids, and the husband, quite often. I don’t just feel like Google: I am this house’s Google. Socks, glasses, Lego heads, shiny green and blue cars that were last seen at the bottom of the sand pit. I am supposed to know. Everything that’s lost can be found by me. What’s often also implied is that it got lost because of me. I do wear the husband’s ferry-sized sandals and play with shiny green cars whenever the husband and kids are not around. Obviously.

So maybe I bought Google to have an ally: to make my verbal eye roll tangible, literally. When they “ask Mom” now, I can really tell them to go ask Google. The husband, of course, rolls his eyes when I do but the kids buy it. Every. Single. Time. When they ask her where their shoes, sunglasses or socks are, she goes all ‘I can’t help you yet, I’m still learning’, and they nod with INFINITE comprehension and decide to ask her again THE NEXT DAY. I could tell the 7 year-old that he can have Google do his maths homework for him. But hey, if he knows how to ask her to move in together (her response: “I don’t think we’re ready yet for that step in our relationship”), he can figure that one out as well. If he’s lucky, by the time she is ready, she might be able to locate his shoes faster than “ask Mom”.

  © Sofie De Smyter | photograph taken today in the 7 year-old’s room. That’s Lego hair alright.

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